RIP summer Break (Taps plays in background)

Well, school starts in 7 days and i would have to say this was one of the best summers EVER! (Besides the 66 total hours spent in a car with my 2 brothers, sister, and dog! Staying entertained on the wasy to Salt Lake city was easy when we read the bumper stickers and got trucks to honk at us (Even if they were carrying another truck!) The coolest thing we say on the road was a truck carrying another so it looked like it was driving backwards!

We got to our grandparents house FINALLY after a stay in a motel nest to a bar in Nebraska, a night at my AWESOME Paramedic/Firefighter Uncle travis' house with his ADORABLE little cuties Kate and Avery who have potential to melt anybodys heart, and a total 33 hours of driving! We got there and had a blast for 2 weeks visiting cousins, walking to graveyards, and of course stealing the occasional street sign! (It was about to fall off anyway, we just made the governments job easier!) Then we went to my cousin Janine's wedding! (Congrats Aaric you chose well!!) and also went cliff diving! who knew jumping to your doom could be soooo much fun! sadly, we had to leave and drove another 3 hours to McCall Idaho to the BESt lake ever and with out best FRIENDS Ever! I'll have to admit i felt kinda stupid after i got led into a snipe hunt, but it was all worth it after we tied a toy skunk to somebodies doorknob and ding-dong ditched em! So McCall knocked on the door and ran but bronwyn and I stayed behind to see the reaction! What happened was the son answered the door, saw nobody was there and closed it, but because the skunk was tied to his doorknob it swung into his house and he proceeded to scream like a girl and say a word im not allowed to type or say! Ahhhhhhh... I love summer! Sadly all good things have an end and we had to leave BUT!!! We were able to get a quick photoshoot of all of the kids from our circle of 3 families there at the time!
GRRR!! ok my compooper won't load the picd but they will be put on a post at a later date!
We brought my aunt kim home with us after mccall and went to the arch when we got back! Nauvoo came nest and WHAT AN AWESOME PLACE TO BE! IF you ever go to nauvoo you HAVE to go to the pageant because its amazing! And the stuff beforehand is pretty cool! There are stilts, woodcutting, and of course DANCING! -sighs- dancing is waaaay funner when you have a partner! well i have to make my bed!

sianara!

Cash for Clunkers? more like computers for congress!

Another weird title... but this is another weird problem with our government..
just watch it and you'll see




your not laughing are you.. cuz its not funny


However! I find this next interesting fact hilarious

It takes 6 years and nine months of continuous "passing gas" to make an atomic bomb!

Silly Quote!

If Abercrombie, Hollister, and American eagle said breathing was uncool...


20% of the worlds population would die!

321!!!! not 123... silly!

Ok.... i know im not the BEST at keeping you posted and i'll admit it's starting to bug ME even. so once every 10 days is my new limit i swear if i ever break this you can come to my house... knock on my door...... come in...... and FORCE me to post (If you know my address that is.... HA)

IN OTHER NEWS!
The title, its some explaining. Ok so picture this: It's hot out, the water is nice and cold, all of your bff's from connecticut are having fun! now add this.. you are 27 feet IN THE AIR of a slanted wet muddy rock about to jump and all of your friends are screaming for you to jump
in my brain the heights mean nothing.... it was the fact that the rock was slippery, tilted toward other rocks, and my feet were muddy that i hit a stop sign every time i tried to jump. It was as if all of my little brain robots sitting in their cubicles hit the STOP button when they tried to take that running step on the sloped rock....

20 minutes later..... i have let about 5 people go ahead of me, and a group of scantily clad girls? no. Women? not covered enough. teens? i guess thats the word for women walking around in practically nothing are called nowadays. so they see me stopped and say "Were you like counting to like 1,2,3? or 3,2,1" i replied "1,2,3" and they all went "Oooohhh!" and acted like they had some great newtonian theory on running off of slanted doom.
so i leaned in and they said "All you like need to do is count 3,2,1 silly!" i was in shock... all my life i have gone 1,2,3..... its just basic nature. I mean what can these girls know if they don't know how to even match bikini tops and bottoms????
but i try it.. i scream 3,2,1, and somehow the little robots in the office in my brain let me jump.

my toes pushed off the very edge of the rock and i was in a different world! The rushing of the air through my hair was surreal and i was all of the sudden stuck in a slo-mo scene of a jackie chan movie. i was swinging my arms and legs in an unnecessary fashion screaming unintelligibly "HoooooooeeeYamaaawww!!!" but at the same time it was beautiful.... time stopped and it felt like i was in a dream as the colors swirled around me in a cascade of green, grey, brown, and sunlight.

SPLASHHHH!!!!!!
i landed (splattered) into the water and my swimsuit came up for air... a few bass may have gotten a good look at my upper half but the therapy is going well for them and they are on the road to recovery. I quickly pulled it down and swam up along with my bubbles. the air tasted good compared to lake water mixed with the pee of my brothers, and friends little brothers!


i tell you what... this counting backward thing has promise
even if it was invented by partially nude college women-girl things

AAAHH! I have neglected this again!

Well... my one reader, i have neglected this blog for awhile... again. One post a week will be customary again starting..... NOW! I was watching youtube again and i thought i might revive my dead tradition of video of the week!
This weeks video is funny (as always) and this is just a great way for me to get a good laugh at my own religion!


funny?

-Horns blaring- SPRING BREAK! NOW WE GO TOTHE DENTIST!!! -Horns quicly fade and the tootist are left wondering why they are even there-

Well, the title was pretty self explanatory.... It in fact is Spring Break until monday and yes i got to go to the dentist.
Don't get me wrong here, I really respect dentists and the work they do to keep our chompers healthy and all that jazz. But, i have some things that really irk me with dentists . So here goes...

1). They are hippoctitical at times, for example they always say "Never poke your teeth with any sharp metal objects" Well ya go to the office, wait awhile reading 8 year old magazines (really), ya sit in the chair, and the first thing they pull out is an IRON HOOK And then, he starts scraping away at the place YOU CAME TO GET FIXED!!!!
2). They have hard of hearing. So you're in the chair and they ask what flavors you want in the toothpaste on steroids and the foamy stuff. So you say mint, no, they don't hear that. The dentist heard "Menthe" like mentholatum The stuff in vicks vap-o rub.
3). They think they are discreet when they laugh at you but their not. After you have rinsed out the taste of Vicks they put a sucker thingy in your mouth, go outisde of the exam room, and laugh at you! Leaving you, a capable human being arguing with thing! trying to suck up your mouth!

Ok... I'm done. I really respect dentists and i really appreciate them keeping my mouth squeky clean.

IN OTHER NEWS:
It is now official that my cousin has adopted the darn cutest little baby boy (angel) ever!
-aaaawwwwwwwww!-
congratulations to my dear cousin jenae and her husband devan!
P.S: I really wanted to go to your wedding, but after weeks of begging to my mom i had to stay and go to school.

How about this?

I have neglected this. Again. UGHHH i must break this habit, and I will write once a week from now on. Well what brought my sudden urge to express my frustrations to the world was the way the girls dressed today even though it was below freezing. To me it seems like our morals in America as a whole are just slipping away like water in a strainer. Everywhere I look there is some inappropriately dressed girl as small as 8 dressed up like Britney Spears (except they are wearing clothes). And of course Hollywood doesn't help with their slew of movies going on and on ad nauseam about how "Friendship is forever! You can always get a new husband!" or, "its OK to cheat on you're spouse, everybody needs a little fun!" Im just waiting and wondering ntil how long it will be until it is uncommon for a couple to only be married once. But then (Ok now im gonna get a little sentimental here) i realize that even while living in a world that accepts such acts as OK that we as Latter Day Saints are able to hold fast to the iron rod of truth. sorry about my ranting and raving, i just needed to get that out.


WELL IN OTHER NEWS!!!
Since i have last posted I have seen some strange things in our oddball country.
1. No Longer is a picnic lunch at the PUBLIC park good enough, i have seen a half eaten turkey sandwich at a Taco Bell Playplace
2. Why do Americans keep looking for new ways to package water? I have also seen canned (yes, canned) water. I can see the commercial now; "Canned Water, the best thing since bottled" Quick Fact: Evian water in naive spelled backwards because they thought it wouldn't sell. Now they have canned it.
3. With health being a brand new fad in america because of our current state of Obesity, people are always competing whether their brand is the Healthiest. But the true winner is a gas station near my house "Try our new LOW CARB WATER!" (PICTURE TO COME)
4. I was cleaning up the mess my little sister made with our old stroller and I found this label. "WARNING: Do not fold with child inside!" mind you this WASN'T a joke!

Had your laugh?

QUESTION OF THE WEEK: Have you seen any odd things like above? If so, PLEASE COMMENT!!!! Thanks!

my puppy

as you all know, i have one of the WORLDS best dogs! i just want to show you guys some pics of my pride and joy!

well, school

i have neglected my blog.... again... i really promise I'll try to write at least 1 time a week...... my puppy Kali threw up a sock last week. oh goody. and on Wednesday the 13th (my bad luck day) school started. and today i realized how big my puppy is going to get... here is a pic of the little spit-fire. since she is a mix between a golden retriever and the biggest standard poodle ever known to man, she will get about 75 lbs!


school, has been kinda fun, I've already had 5-6 homework assignments but that's life, eh? also, my locker room in PE is like a million degrees, and of course we start running on the track monday....... wel enough with me feeling sorry for myself. Its time for you to tell me...

ATTENTION: If you are reading this you are required to comment on your summer/school....muahahahahahah, i feel like my English teaher, mrs. evilmeier.

LASt thing, in case you have been confused all names mentioned about other people have been changed and these are NOT THE REAL NAMES!

my vacation thus far....

I'm so sorry blogger peeps. but i have been SWAMPED with stuff to do. life is just hectic -wink wink nod nod- so ill write now
my vacation stated with us going to Branson and we had an amazing time on the lake and at the pool located in the friendly tribesman resort.
(my little brother at the pool)


We also had a rootin tootin hootin dootin pootin good time at the DIXIE STAMPEDE Y'ALL!! -YEEEEEHHAAAWWWWW- where you sit in a football field sized arena and have a 6 course meal with your god intended silverware (be sure to use the wipes after eatin the whole chicken with you hands) teehheee, funny story. My little brother nick -pictured above- had no idea that we were going to use our hands to eat a whole chicken. so when the serving girl came over he said "Miss, do we get to eat a WHOLE chicken with our hands???? " in his cute 5-year-old-but-hes-really-almost-8 voice. when the serving girl said yes, his eyes turned to the size of golfballs! and dug in. the whole chicken. gone just bones. he couldnt eat till lunch the next day........

and the 4 hour drive home was peaceful becuase we were too full to argue about the pronunciation of cacao (jackson, its pronounce cah-cow not ca-ca-oh) and we drove to the vet to pick up our little furry ball of trouble. (ME with my little puppy)

so we did normal summer stuff like pool swimming and turtle catching, and staying up later than usual.
until about a week ago....... our cousins, the krauses who live about a mile away had a next door neighbor run away to their house. he was a little 5 year old who ran away because his mom made him clean his room. teehee. so my uncle Paul worked him TO THE BONE, the little guy almost cried twice and was very shocked when it was dinner time. he got a can of refiried beans,while we (the other kids) were SO elated because it was the first time in YEARS when we actually got cheese on our macaroni. -wink wink nod nod- and that we loved to go to bed because we worked so hard all day. my uncle had to finally kick him out so he could go home, because the little guy just rang the doorbell put his bag on the floor and said "I'm gonna live here cause my mom is sooo stupid" nice kid.
my fingers are tired, more to come about my vacation later... BYE

rainy days are

as i sat on the couch today thinking of what i should write, a very cheesy, nostalgic memory came into my mind. All of the CT gang (chain gang) were at our house when it was pouring rain and we were all eating massive bowls of lucky charms for dinner, and then it hit me, what rainy days are

rainy days are showing lucky charm marshmallows no mercy

rainy days are old boxes of brownie mix that might have been expired for a day being devoured

rainy days are learning things about people you'd never like to learn

rainy days are reminiscing on movies so old, that you have to spend half an hour trying to re-figure out the vcr player
those movies are the funniest

rainy days are watching old home movies with friends, but are really embarassing moments of you (see #3)

rainy days are discovering you have true friend who dont care about a diaper dance

rainy days are muddy games of kickball that end in a world famous side to home base

rainy days are making boats out of popsicle sticks, and racing them on the streets

rainy days are proving good contsruction (knowledge) always trumps pink sparkles (beauty)

rainy days are good for the soul

This weeks lessons and video...

This weeks video- G rated, very cute, very funny



This weeks lessons-

Bikes made of plastic that you try to ride for a mile will hurt terribly

babysitting at 1 am is scary

no matter what you tell her, your sister will still call your neighbors 1000 pound boxer georgia when his (its?) name is CHARGER

macs arent the best computers in the world once the honeymoon phase is over

life isnt fair.......ever

"the office" is a cure to an extremely bad day, laughs make sunshine in a cloudy day

I will get frustrated when nobody comment on my blog (hint hint)

i really miss my friends from CT quote from stewart little "There's just this, empty space in my heart."

i will cry at the girls camp testimony meeting

that is the first time i have cried for a testimony related thing

FOR MY READERS..... im a mormon, that will explain alot in more posts soon to come

aahhh, the joys of girls camp

i just got back from girls camp, sorry haven't posted. i had a great time waterskiing, horse riding, and rock climbing! and i'm sure my 34 ticks, 10 'skeeter bites, and 5 chiggers had a great time sucking on my sugar pumped blood. and of course our tent was a luxury resort to the 3 raccoons who decided to visit us at 3 am. i have two great stories to tell

el numero uno: my friend had lost her b** and my other friend had lost her under wear. I was sitting inside our canvas-tent-cabin thingy while aly was behind our tent inside our tent, and taylor was in our tent in our tent... here goes the story

Friend 1 "GAAAAHHHH i must have dropped my underwear! (we had just got back from showering) NOBODY COME BACK HERE

Friend 2 "Where is my bra? i swear i had it! NOBODY COME IN HERE

Me "we must have a stalker...

Friend 1 " Hey guys whats that noise?

Friend 2 and i "i dunno"

Friend 1 " AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH -screams- its a huuuuuuuge spider! -trips over clothes and falls in tent with topless taylor

Friend 2 "GET OUT"

friend 1 "DONT LOOK AT ME"

friend 2 "DONT LOOK AT ME EITHER"

Me "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA -rolls on floor from laughing, literally- HAHAHAHAHAHA -tries to get up then falls out of canvas cabin thing-

Everybody "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

i got the hardest laughing fit i have ever had in my whole life!!!!




STORY NUMBA TOO:

setting: we are at devotional reading scriptures as part of the lesson sitting around the campfire

Friend: "and the lord said 'confide in me and thy will come fart in the joys of my tender mercies"

Everyone "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA"

Friend "wat did i say?"

Sister ****** "Just keep reading"



aaahhhh, wat fun facts camp can reveal about other people, and yourself

i found out that i can do mean belly flop, and then almost have to be rescued by the lifeguard

I found out i am scared of racoons at 3 am

I found out i kinda mumble in my sleep

I found out ticks are very clever

I found out that my favorite activity when it is raining during camp is dousind them with bug spray and lighting them on fire

THE ANSWER TO THE GAME WAS

18

My furry loving ball of trouble

As you may be aware of, I have just got a new Puppy! :)
this little fun loving fluffball has just made my life a madhouse! She has has 3 #1 accidents and only 1 #2 accident! Not so bad i guess. But she has her quirks that make us laugh harder than we have in awhile! GRRR.... I cant post a picture... grrrrr....


Her quirks:

1. When she gets excited her left ears flops up on her head

2. When she's really happy she wags her tail up and down

3. When she is extremely happy she wags her tail like a helicopter

4. She can obliterate a tennisball in 1 min 3 sec (I timed it)

5. She annoys little dogs

6. She thinks she's a horse

7. She scared away a lab because she was so hyper

WHAT SHE HAS EATEN.....

1. A piece of tin-foil

2. 6 Worms

3. 2 legos

4. A piece of that stuff that goes under the carpet the size of her paw.

5. My finger....... GOTCHA didn't I? lol

Let's play a game.......

As you know, i don't use proper punctuation or capitalization that often. Without counting, try to guess how many errors i was too lazy to fix, the winner will get something (probably just a congratulations but just play along) Ready..... Set....... GUESS!!!!


P.S - this post counts.

This weeks video

I've decided to make a weekly post on funny videos i find scattered around the 'net. I found this one floating all alone on youtube, with only 306 views. I have no clue why because i found it extremely funny.
WARNING: there is a swear word, and i almost thought of choosing a different video, but here it goes, may the LOLing begin

This month

I have been so busy this past month, so sorry i haven't posted. This past month i have learned quite a few things, here is a list...

1. No matter what you do, a vacuum will NOT dry your hair
2. When your grandma says something you dont understand, just play along
3. When there is a 70% off sale at the lindtt chocolate store, the line WILL be long.
4. Puppies do NOT have stomachs or bladders of steel.
5. Teachers don't appreciate when you doodle on worksheets.
6. When olivia screams.......... she WILL burst your eardrums
7. Brothers can somehow get toothpaste on the ceiling
8. No matter how hard you try to hide a puppy accident, mom will find out
9. Putting a glass jar in the trash compactor because your mom never compacts it, is NOT a good theory.
10. College kids scream loudly on rollercoasters
11. I sadly am addicted to rollercoasters.
12. You cannot make one of those zipline things in you backyard with a long piece of rope, and a stick. It will end in pain and tears.
13. Mom is always right, even if she isn't.
14. Mom's punch in the code on the vending machines with that finger nobody really should put up.
15. grandmas point to words in books with that same finger.

euphemisms from grandma

well, sorry i havent posted because my loving grandma (mamo) has been here..... and i have heard a totally different language. here is a list of her enthusiastic euphemisms....

1.rubber scaper- i had no clue what it was, but then after asking me a million times to get it, and me saying "what is that?!?!?!" i found out that it is what my branch of the family tree calls a spatula

2. mixer- this is a funny one, my mamo asked me to get out a mixer, and i got out our like 50 pound electric mixer, and she said "no jess, a mixer" so finally i just guessed and pulled out a __________. What was it? a MIXING BOWL

3.unders- now that i think about it, there really is no explanation needed for this, i was just being extremely stupid.

4. friskies - when she asked if we were going to feed our dog friskies, i said it was a cat food, and she disagreed. I guess it used to be the only dog food that was good for your dog back then.

Here i come, world

I am so excited, my first not fictitious blog is finally started. I just want to say hi and that i will make exciting posts.